Asking Her Father For Her Hand In Marriage. June 15, 2013 – Posted in: Weddings – Tags: asking her father, engagement, marriage, proposal
Asking her father for her hand in marriage.
Ok Ok Ok…..we all know that this whole asking her father for her hand in marriage thing harks back to the past and that in this day and age and what does it matter what they think etc……… you’re going to do what you want anyway but you’d be very surprised at how many men go down the tradition route of paying their father in law to be the respect of letting him know their plans first.
If it works out well you will have forged an extremely strong bond looking to the future and that can only be a plus.
In saying that, there are always exceptions and some women will say that whole idea smacks of sexism and chauvinism and harks back to times when women were treated like cattle……….
You will not have a single better opportunity to put points on the board and engrave her with positive memories than at the moment of your proposal. So you need to maximize it by going 100% cheesy, rose petals and all. This includes respecting all the traditional rituals, from asking her dad at the outset to bending on one knee in the moment.
1. Talk to your girlfriend first. Before you go and sit down and talk man-to-man with your soon to be father-in-law, make sure you and your girlfriend think about what yourself and girlfriend have already talked about and how she feel about you. Is she ready to commit? Does she even want to get married? If so, how soon does she want to walk down the isle/sign the dotted line? Imagine going through all this to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. Ugggg.
2. Sit down with him man-to-man. There are several ways you can go about this, and I think it all depends on what kind of man your girlfriend’s father is. Consider taking him out to dinner or going to a pub for a pint or coffee shop or maybe a round of golf (a friend of yours gave you a voucher to play and you’d like to bring him). If that’s not a possibility, during a visit just ask if you can speak to him in private. If her dad lives far away, try to time the conversation for a trip home which has already been planned. If this is not possible, it’s okay to conduct the talk over the phone.
4. Start out expressing your feelings for his daughter. Honesty is (almost)always the best policy and the best way to start off the conversation is to express to the father your love and admiration for his daughter. Tell him how much she means to you. You can mention some specific qualities that you love about her but he might either burst out laughing or start to cry. He raised her, and he probably has an inkling where this is going.
5. Explain your desire to marry his daughter. Now it’s time put the ball in the back of the net. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Assure the man that you understand the seriousness of the commitment you are undertaking and that being able to spend the rest of your life with his daughter would make you the happiest man in the world.
You were made for each other.
6. Promise him that you’ll look after/ love his daughter for the rest of her life. Put yourself in the man’s shoes. She has been the man in her life since she was baby. He’s taken care of her since she was in born and only wants the best for her. He wants to know that he’s handing off his little girl to someone that will take care of her through thick and thin. Make the commitment that you’ll always honor, respect, love and cherish his daughter.
7. Respectfully ask for his blessing. Now, just request his blessing and support in you asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
* If your girlfriend’s father has died, wasn’t around when she was growing up, or is simply a not the type to approach or one that his daughter avoids contact with, ask her Mother instead.
We find that the only men who deny the necessity of asking a father-in-law for permission are those who neglect to do so. When they deny it, they do so angrily or worse they try belittle those who do.
Every man we have met who did ask him permission boasts of doing it proudly — I hope you will.
You will have earned it.